Vacation deja vu

Our 2003 photo-op......





Tracey's 2006 photo-op.....

Napoleon's dance

I can't forget this classic.....Vote For Pedro.

Olive's dance

Little Miss Sunshine....how can you not love this movie?!

Celtics 92-- Pistons 85......woop-woop!!

Props out to "Big Baby"......he scored 20 points!

Go C's

Celtics vs Pistons tonight!

28-3 record, a win tonight will make the record 29-3 for the Boston Celtics!

Many, many thanks to
the BIG 3......Boston 3 party.... 3 Basketeers


Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen

Such a waste....

The girl needs serious help.....those poor babies.

OMG

10 days from today I will be 35 years old.....omg, I am officially middle aged.
Breathe.....
I have been wanting to get my nose pierced for a long while now.....this may be my incentive to go and do it.....my birthday present from me.
Rem, are you down to go with me?.....I need some girl support, plus you have had yours pierced forever, so you can sit back and watch the torture.....please?

Currents

OK, this has been passed from Melissa to Shannon, so I will take a shot and pay it forward.....what are your currents?

Reading~Into the Wild by John Krakauer, I want to see the movie as soon as I finish the book.
Great author....I have also read Under the Banner of Heaven, which was quite engrossing.....I plan to read Into Thin Air by John Krakauer, which is a first hand account of an expedition up Mt Everest that ends with 8 people dead.



Listening to~ Tracy Chapman, Edie Brickell and new bohemians at home......Justin Timberlake in the car.....when the kids are not with me, I am a Howard Stern listener.




Grateful for~ my family, friends and that we are all healthy.

Watching~LOVE Nip/Tuck, Greys and most reality TV.



Dreaming about~David Beckham.....my husband totally knows about my crush on David Beckham....no worries.


Projects~Get Chris to finally finish off the rest of the basement......blatant hint to you Chris!

Deciding~Torn on a prospective investment......feels right, but a huge risk.

Changing~Less coffee more chai.


Looking forward to~ Getting to the beach more this summer, as Emmy is getting older, it is easier for us to pack up and go!

I left my anxiety in 2007

I have always been a tightly wound person, a bit high strung at times and probably not the easiest person to get along with.....although I do not like conflict and confrontation, so I am positive that much of my feelings were internalized.....an extremely unhealthy way to exist.

I have a small number of friends, who know me well enough to accept me as I am.....they know I need lists to keep my life in order, that I am obsessed with keeping my house clean (I really enjoy cleaning), I need organization, thrive on schedules and basically put a lot of pressure on myself to keep things perfect.....this is completely self inflicted on my part.

I never felt that I had anything wrong.... with these idiosyncrasies, I just thought I was a super-organised-perfectionist....I was way off.

After my 2nd baby, I felt off, and after a horrible health scare that landed my 18 day old baby in Hasbro Children's Hospital ICU for some "unknown" reason.....I was definitely not myself.
I reasoned it to be because of the scary events, but I was never able to relax after that.

Fast forward to when my 3rd baby was born. Recovering form my c-section, I was quite ill and had to go back to the hospital, making the recovery period longer and more difficult for me.
Emmy had problems with feeding and had severe reflux, which really added to the stress of a new baby, toddler and teenager!

As I started feeling better and things were getting back to normal, I just wasn't feeling right. The initial weeks of sleep deprivation were past and we had established a quasi-itinerary in the house.....but I was feeling so uneasy about everything.

I wouldn't leave the house with the kids unless I was with Chris....and even with him, I was always on top of the kids and thinking that something bad would happen.
I feared that if I was driving, we would get in an accident and I wouldn't be able to help my kids or even worse, I would have to choose who to help...it was awful and I confined myself to my safe bubble at home.
I found myself doing and checking things over and over and my head was constantly spinning.
I would sleep, but I would be exhausted all of the time.

The worst of all of this was that I constantly irritable and would take it all out on Chris when he got home from work.
I could manage things with the kids during the day, I would force myself to give the kids the best of what I had in me, but when Chris was home, he would take the kids so I could decompress and sometimes I needed to release on Chris....it wasn't fun for him.
I am so lucky that he is so understanding and such an involved father....I don't know if things would have been OK if he wasn't.

My problem became clear when Remily confronted me with how much different I had become....up until then, I was in denial and thought that I was stressed from a bigger family and that I was holding it together.....I wasn't.
I had been keeping active, taking vitamins, using essential oils, drinking teas and natural supplements to help ease my "stress".
Around the same time that Remily brought light to my world, my cousin was hospitalised for a full blown anxiety attack....she thought it was a heart attack, scary stuff.....that was when I decided that I needed help.

So began the journey to realizing that I had anxiety and needed medical help to alleviate the symptoms. My doctor is a wonderful and compassionate woman and mother, who reassured me that this was not something that I created and that there is a way out.
It has been 6 months since I have begun this leg of my journey and I have come so far, I feel like I should.
I enjoy my life and my children and I feel good about me....blemishes and all!
I have begun to practice yoga again with hopes to really find my center.....I have dabbled in it before, but I am much more aware of what I can obtain from practicing yoga daily at home.
I have resolved to try new things this year....a way to make sure that I do not slip back to the security bubble.....I am really looking forward to this year!

Hello to a balanced, centered place of harmony and peace.....see ya to the depressed, anxiety-filled me of pre-2008!




*I want to add that blogging has been so therapeutic for me....so thanks for looking!

2008 will be great!

We had a low key New Years eve with the family...didn't make it to see the ball drop, but we had a great time together!
The kids were up late with us , we all ate wayyyyyyyyyy too much and we kicked around some ideas for the new year.

Looking back on 2007, we had a great year, but I am ready to see what 2008 brings.

DJ is feeling so much better and adjusting to the changes in school, he is a much more positive person and we are all feeling less stressed....my hope for DJ is that he can see the glass as half full and notice the good more than the not-so-good.

Avery is learning so much and she is so proud when she accomplishes a new task. She is doing well with writing and reading simple sight words, so in 2008, I want to teach her to read independently.

Emmy is talking all the time! Some of her language is recognisable and some is definitely not! This year will be a huge year for Emmy, we will continue to bring out her vocabulary and we will work on learning to use the potty.....big things in 2008!

As a couple, Chris and I plan to eat better, spend less and save more......I know, pretty generic.

I have already booked our 2008 family vacation in Narragansett, RI for the 4th of July week. This is a full family vacation with my parents, my family, my brother and his girlfriend.....its nice to have all of us together. I am really excited about this year because I was able to book a huge house with 3 levels to spread out in and be in walking distance to Sand Hill Cove Beach.

Personally, I have resolved to try something new every week for the whole year. It doesn't have to be a huge production, just something that I have not done yet....I hope to have fun with this because the kids will also be involved.....
Oh, and to be more patient.....maybe lose a few pounds as well.

So, I hope you all have had a wonderful 2007 and celebrated the new year with friends and family.....now we are ready for the fate of 2008......bring it on!!